Unbridled Learning

Materialism and Christmas shopping and decorating… oh my!

			You like money fine, but you don’t think about it too much. Money is like a frisbee to you; you throw it around, if it comes back to you at some point, that’s great; if you miss it, hey, no big deal. But you have to be more careful with your frisbee. There are meanies out there who would like to steal your frisbee. Don’t let them steal your frisbee. The quiz results so far: Monks: 2.87% Slackers: 36.35% Grounded Middles: 47.81% Coveters: 8.14% Greedheads: 4.83%

Well, there's my results!  A slacker!  I have been thinking about this a lot lately because I have been accused more than once of being materialistic at this time of year, invariably by someone who chooses to be much more frugal with their kids' Christmas presents than we are.  The funny thing is, I do not consider myself materialistic at all.  I don't have a desire to "be rich"; I don't buy things for their designer label or appearance of snootiness.  In fact, I would be embarrassed to wear or drive certain things because of the fact that it appears to be done simply to make someone appear affluent.  I couldn't care less about clothes labels, car models, elite neighborhoods, etc.

However, we do believe in blessing our kids and ourselves with the things that we want when we can.  I grew up fairly poor and rarely got what I wanted for Christmas, despite extensive lists   My husband grew up middle class and usually got whatever he wanted.  I am a fairly impulsive buyer, especially when it's something that I think I need or deserve for some reason.  My husband is much less impulsive and will often do without something for a long time before spending any money on himself.  Both of us want our kids to get what they want, and not to operate out of feelings of lack.  On the other hand, of course, we do not want them to be materialistic, greedy, ungrateful, etc.

So far we seem to have struck that balance.  The only thing we haven't successfully instilled into them, it seems, is being overly protective of their possessions.  None of them are greedy with their money.  They are usually willing to share their stuff with each other, or with others.  They enjoy giving to others, and using their own money to get presents for each other.  They appreciate donating to those less fortunate.  They are overall able to save up for things they want.  So far so good.

Here's what we do.  They get an allowance, paid at the first of the month.  It is loosely tied to chores (my husband is the only one who connects it to chores, and only occasionally; they have a certain chore they do for their allowance. all other household tasks are simply shared as a family).  For example, William (16) mows the lawn and takes care of the outside dog and the dishes.  Kevan (11) empties the dishwasher and takes care of the cat, and inside dog accidents (she's a puppy).  Ben (7) does the silverware, takes out the recyclables, and usually takes the inside dog out for her potty breaks.

When there is something somebody wants, they pretty much will get it.  Maybe not that day or that month... but they will get it.  They may save up their allowance; they may have some help from mom or dad to pay or they may get it for Christmas or their birthday.  I don't know why that seems so strange to some people, but to us it is just obvious.  We do have a lot of stuff.  I'm sure we have a lot of stuff that hasn't been used to its full potential.  Since we have the resources I believe in taking advantage of them to do and to learn what we choose rather than creating artificial lack.  When we no longer want/need something it is donated or freecycled so that someone less fortunate also gets what they want when possible.

I usually get depressed at this time of year.  Right about the time I am mostly done Christmas shopping, and the kids start remembering things they forgot to mention that they wanted for Christmas I start to feel like I don't want to buy anything, it's ridiculous to spend so much money, and what on earth am I supposed to get my husband for Christmas anyway!  Fortunately my husband is used to this by now, and he just takes over until I come back around. 

So far that hasn't happened this year though... everything I bought is something I've wanted to get them, or they have been wanting, and Christmas provides the perfect opportunity (excuse?) to do so.  Every Christmas, the Christmas money comes... either bonuses from work or extra side jobs appear so that we never have to go into debt to get what we want to get.  This year is no different.  I'm not stressing about money (any more so than usual anyway); I am not stressed about presents; I still have no clue what I'm getting my husband and am trying to talk him into not getting each other anything.  He's not likely to go for that though.

I haven't even decorated the house yet this year, really.  We bought a new artificial tree the day after Thanksgiving on sale.  Our gorgeous real tree from last year was our one and only venture into real Christmas trees, and I insisted on a bigger fake one if we had to go back to fake (real one was a pain in the neck, and Will has allergies anyway).  The tree came prelit, so we have a lit tree with no decorations (it's only been 2 weeks!)  The other day Will came home with some more little buildings and houses for my little Christmas village (which is now a big Christmas village) from grandpa, so I dug out the rest and put up the little village and toy train with Ben the other day.  That was fun!  I couldn't drag down the ornament boxes because they were up on a very high shelf in the garage and very heavy.  This weekend I decided we should just make all of our Christmas tree ornaments this year.  So we airpopped some popcorn (currently getting stale so we can string it), spray painted some pasta (currently drying) and got some ribbon.  We're going to make some bread dough ornaments, popcorn and pasta garlands, and tie on some ribbons, and call it beautiful!  We still need to find one special ornament that Ben reminded us we still need to put on the tree - our Grandma Kay In Memory ornament that reminds us that she is watching over us this Christmas from heaven as always.  I'll put up pictures of our Christmas tree experiment as we go.  The actual decorating is waiting for Will to come back from out of town.

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