Brief notes from and the Skylark from chs 1 and 2

Quotes I want to remember; I will be writing on this soon

Two of our most important homeschooling lessons:
we weren't going to be able to do everything ourselves, and hence would have to learn how to find other resources
we were going to be experimental in approach rather than be governed by someone else's narrow conception of “age-appropriateness”.
Our kids taught us that our task is to seek avenues for whatever inward leadings they exhibit to blossom, and to find ways for our children to become who they already are, or were meant to be.

What I aspire to be is the strongest possible advocate for my children and for ensuring their learning needs are met in the best possible fashion.

The end I envision for my children's education is not the mastery of subject matter.  It is perhaps here where, more than anywhere else, we part company with the practice of public education.  For the end we envision lies not in the amassing of facts or concepts, which, in itself, has little more intrinsic value than the accumulation of shoes, baseball cars, or sports cars, but in the responsible exercise of freedom – the freedom to learn, to create, to grow, to be – unfettered by prejudice, their own or that of others, unhampered to the highest degree possible by others' expectations and their own preconceptions, fears, and self-doubts, uninhibited by dependencies not freely chosen.
Why are these mutually exclusive?

Responding to Stephanie’s questions

I didn't want to respond in the comments because it would have gotten to long Stephanie from http://my3feistykids.homeschooljournal.net/ asked,

"What kind of work do you do?

I like your idea of a weekly “do” list. I have been considering trying this with my kids (instead of taking it from day to day). What might one of your lists look like? Do you, your husband, and the kids develop them collaboratively? Does your family like this system?

I hope you don’t mind the questions. I love learning from other home educators."

I don't mind the questions at all! Gives me something to write about!

I work in virtual education. The school that I work for provides materials, computer, resources, support and testing for families who are interested in enrolling and teaching their children at home using that model. My job involves overseeing math - training teachers and supplying them with resources; helping parents with resources and support; working directly (virtually) with students, especially in the middle school age. In a previous life (two short school years ago) I was a middle school math and science teacher. This job has given me the flexibility to be at home with my kids while supporting other people being at home with their kids. I love it! It has also provided me with some amazing resources for my own kids.

The To-Do Lists

This could practically be a post all to itself! Every half year or so, the kids and I will talk about what they want to learn/do. When they were in school, they always had the option to be there for that year. Now that they're out, they have the option as well. It is not necessarily a day by day option though, but more of a longish term commitment... to a point. If something is not working, it gets trashed. With all of this, plus the ways they learn best and the things they enjoy the most in mind, I create the weekly lists.

I use the backbone-of-choice (couldn't live without one, because I just don't have time) which is a particular curriculum that I find to be of excellent quality. I take what I want from the recommended activities and put it in to the list. I look for additional resources on Cosmeo and add those. I look for related books on the library website, and on Netflix and order what I need. I look at our calendar for the week and rearrange subjects and workloads accordingly.

Many people don't like the idea of rewards for schoolwork. I disagree. We don't have letter grades, and I think recognition of a job well done is important. At my job (and many jobs) there are performance bonuses for excellent work. There are also raises and promotions, in addition to recognition for excellent work. If I worked only for myself, I would set goals for myself and reward myself for reaching them. My kids choose their learning goals, and having outside incentive helps them to reach them. Plus, it's just fun!

They get a treat for completing the week's list, for completing a full month, and for completing a full quarter of the year (10 weeks). This is not set 100% in stone; things can be removed or changed by mutual consent. Also if something does not get done (which is pretty much only when I am unavailable for them or something unexpected comes up in the schedule), it can be completed the next day. Our "prizes" were decided upon together at the beginning of the year. Weekly prizes are slurpees or Starbucks; monthly is a pizza date; quarterly is a video game. These are all things that we would do in the past anyway; now it is just an extrinsic incentive for those times that the intrinsic motivation is sleeping, or to enhance the intrinsic motivation :).

So, the big ideas are decided upon collaboratively between me and the kids. The actual weekly lists are put together by me (takes a few hours each weekend). They are planned around each individual, though, and their stated and observed preferences, interests, and abilities. Rewards were decided upon collaboratively. There are not punishments or anything; it just hasn't been necessary. They don't have to get their work done first in order to watch tv or play games or something, although if the work is just not getting done and time is slipping away I will remind them. The kids like knowing exactly what should get done, it makes it really easy for them to work independently when I need them to, they can do something ahead of time if they want, it makes me feel like we are all accountable to each other and I am fulfilling my obligations for their education... it is working very well. It is a bit of a commitment on my part to get it done every weekend and to keep up with it each day, and so far so good.  For us it has been well worth it.

Frenetic Heart Attack-Inducing Pulse of our Homeschool

I enjoyed Lucie's post at Homeschool Diary  about "The Pulse of Learning" at her house, or how her family routines goes.  I was more than a little envious of the relaxed and serene descriptions of people drifting in and out of activities and learning and playing.  Not quite how it happens here!

Since I work full time from home and  we have outside activities most weekday evenings and some afternoons, there is not typically any relaxed drifting going on around here, lol.  A typical day at our house so far this year (since September) would be more like this (of course, every day of the week would be different, but on average)...

I get up at 7:30 or 8, and check and respond to emails (work).  Kids wander out of bed whenever, usually around the same time as I do, and putz around on the computer for awhile.

Around 9 I say, "Time to get to work... I mean, uh, time to get to fun learning adventures!"  Kevan groans and says, "I don't want any fun learning adventures today," and I crack up at how that sounds.  Then I say, "Tough."  I give them their "lists" which are weekly to-do lists that I create on the weekend for the following week.  I say, "I need to do <insert something I need to do *with* them> right now, because I have a conference call at 10."  Kevan says, "I'm hungry!"  So we eat breakfast.

Around 9:30 I say, "Ok, who needs me?"  I do math with Ben while Kevan does some Literature or History on his own (usually consists of reading and some comprehension checking) and then asks me to do the "discuss with mom" part.  I say, "Sorry! Got to get on a conference call!  Do something else!"

They both play around on their computers or games while I do my conference call and various other work related activities.  Between noon and one Kevan will usually get hungry again and fix some lunch for himself and Ben, or start asking me to fix lunch.  I'll turn on Judge Joe Brown or Judge Alex while I fix lunch and we all eat.

Afterward, I will realize how little work Ben has done since I have been too busy to work with him, so I tell him to come over and do some Language Arts with me.  Kevan says, "I need to discuss with mom!"  I say that I can't because I'm doing Ben's Language Arts and to go do something else.

In the middle of Language Arts someone will call (work line) and I will have to go to the phone and work some more.  After the call I will say, "We don't have much time.  We are <insert whatever is going on that day here>.  Ben, go do this to finish Language Arts.  Kevan, have you done math yet?"  Kevan needs to do math with me but doesn't do it very well at this time of day so it can be frustrating if we don't get it done early.  We still haven't gotten around to that "discuss with mom".

I check my email and discover a new crisis that must be averted, and work some more.  Then I call Ben over for a History or Science lesson.  Kevan is still wanting to discuss with mom, but by this time has given up asking.  William calls and needs to be picked up from school, so off I go to get him.

When I get back I get some more work done, and then try to get some "discuss with mom" time in.  Then it's time for evening activities - gymnastics, cub scouts, boy scouts, and/or tae kwon do (3 nights a week) depending on the night.  At tae kwon do I bring my laptop and work since I have to sit there for an hour and a half anyway 3 nights a week!  Fortunately my wonderful husband will have dinner ready whenever we get home from wherever we are, usually pretty late.  Then we try to relax (unless I have more work to do) and fall into bed.

Notice there was no house cleaning or even straightening going on there?  No, that happens once a week, usually on Saturday.  Notice also there was no exercise?  Except for the kids... well, we pay the gym, we just don't go to it!  Notice there was no down time?  Yeah, except on Thursday nights when Will and the kids go to grandpas house for dinner.  I wish I could go too but it is really and truly my only alone time ever where I can have a quiet house and do whatever the heck I want.  I think I would go crazy without it.

So the weekends are reserved for cleaning, lesson planning, catching up on any work that didn't get finished, planning for Cub Scouts, and... oh  yeah... relaxing with the family if there's time!

Please note that I am *not* complaining!  I love my job and I love being with the kids so much and I love homeschooling!  I don't necessarily love the way things get done though.  It is good to reflect on how things are and how one wants them to be at this time of year.

The Great Toad Release

Toads from the nearby levee seem to find their way into our driveway or yard at times.  Three of them made themselves at home here for over a year, fed on crickets and keeping each other company.  Unfortunately, since their buddy Claus the bearded dragon died recently, it has been harder for me to remember to buy crickets for them regularly enough.

So, yesterday we decided it would be a good idea to release the toads back into the riverbed from whence they came so they could find their own insects to eat.  Kevan and Ben agreed (we have talked about this several times in the past and they weren't ready yet then), so off we went to the river bed.

This was not their home, just the tank we used to transport them.

The kids pointed out the great camo!  This must be where they belong, they decided!

Candle Dipping

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Originally uploaded by queana7.

Earlier this month, dipping beeswax candles with some homeschool friends.

What was I thinking?

Ok, so I haven't even started reading the book yet.  And several people are not ready to start until after the holidays. Soooo.... I'm extending the first edition of the Book Club Canival until January 6th.  Read and write away

Carnival of Homeschooling is UP

The One Week Short of a Year Carnival of Homeschooling

is up at

Principled Discovery

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Homeschool Parent Book Carnival

I'm so excited about the interest in reading and discussing together! Woohoo!

I've decided to try having the book club set up as a blog carnival. So, the carnival is handled through blogcarnival.com. When you write a post that is a discussion of the current book, either email it to me at unbridledlearning@gmail.com or submit it at blogcarnival. It's super easy! Once at the site, look at the menu on the left hand side. Under "Carnival Submissions", click on Submit your blog article to an upcoming carnival here. Select the Homeschool Parent Book Club carnival in the drop down list, copy and paste in the permalink to your post, your name and email address, and click submit. This automatically lets me know that a new post has been submitted and keeps it nice and organized. If you prefer, you can email me your post and I can add it to the carnival from my end.

So... this is a busy time of year but lets get started anyway! This week we will be reading chapters 1-3 of And the Skylark Sings with Me, by David Albert. Please post as many times as you like as you read through these chapters, and be sure to submit any posts that you make to the carnival! I listed Friday the 22nd as the first deadlines, for chapters 1-3. I will then make sure the carnival is posted by Sunday.

Let's see how it goes! Maybe we'll find a better way to do it as we go along!

One more thing!  I am creating a category of links in my blogroll (which is currently empty, lol) called Homeschool Parent Book Club.  I'll be linking to all participating members' blogs so we can easily find each others' posts as well.

I want to start a homeschool blogger book club

Here's my idea.  Bloggers tend to be people who like learning new things, and tend to be people who like writing about learning new things.  Having a few bloggers reading and writing together about books would be interesting, no?  Well as someone who loves books and blogs, I think it would be wonderful.

What I would like to do is to find a couple/few other interested homeschooling bloggers, pick a book and start reading in the next week or so.  I will post a suggested reading schedule and maybe some discussion-starter questions.  Participants would send me their links to their posts, and I would categorize them.  Kind of like a blog carnival, only a blog book club carnival.  I'm sure this is being done, but I can't find any examples of it so I'm kind of still working out the idea in my mind. 

If anyone is interested, please let me know! Or, even if you're not interested, if you feel so inclined, please post some info about it on your blog to spread the word.  I am a very new blogger and not too many people happen across my little speck of the blogosphere. 

I think I would like to start with And the Skylark Sings with Me by David Albert.  I've started and stopped reading it several times and would like to actually finish and ponder it at some point!

Materialism and Christmas shopping and decorating… oh my!

			You like money fine, but you don’t think about it too much. Money is like a frisbee to you; you throw it around, if it comes back to you at some point, that’s great; if you miss it, hey, no big deal. But you have to be more careful with your frisbee. There are meanies out there who would like to steal your frisbee. Don’t let them steal your frisbee. The quiz results so far: Monks: 2.87% Slackers: 36.35% Grounded Middles: 47.81% Coveters: 8.14% Greedheads: 4.83%

Well, there's my results!  A slacker!  I have been thinking about this a lot lately because I have been accused more than once of being materialistic at this time of year, invariably by someone who chooses to be much more frugal with their kids' Christmas presents than we are.  The funny thing is, I do not consider myself materialistic at all.  I don't have a desire to "be rich"; I don't buy things for their designer label or appearance of snootiness.  In fact, I would be embarrassed to wear or drive certain things because of the fact that it appears to be done simply to make someone appear affluent.  I couldn't care less about clothes labels, car models, elite neighborhoods, etc.

However, we do believe in blessing our kids and ourselves with the things that we want when we can.  I grew up fairly poor and rarely got what I wanted for Christmas, despite extensive lists ;)  My husband grew up middle class and usually got whatever he wanted.  I am a fairly impulsive buyer, especially when it's something that I think I need or deserve for some reason.  My husband is much less impulsive and will often do without something for a long time before spending any money on himself.  Both of us want our kids to get what they want, and not to operate out of feelings of lack.  On the other hand, of course, we do not want them to be materialistic, greedy, ungrateful, etc.

So far we seem to have struck that balance.  The only thing we haven't successfully instilled into them, it seems, is being overly protective of their possessions.  None of them are greedy with their money.  They are usually willing to share their stuff with each other, or with others.  They enjoy giving to others, and using their own money to get presents for each other.  They appreciate donating to those less fortunate.  They are overall able to save up for things they want.  So far so good.

Here's what we do.  They get an allowance, paid at the first of the month.  It is loosely tied to chores (my husband is the only one who connects it to chores, and only occasionally; they have a certain chore they do for their allowance. all other household tasks are simply shared as a family).  For example, William (16) mows the lawn and takes care of the outside dog and the dishes.  Kevan (11) empties the dishwasher and takes care of the cat, and inside dog accidents (she's a puppy).  Ben (7) does the silverware, takes out the recyclables, and usually takes the inside dog out for her potty breaks.

When there is something somebody wants, they pretty much will get it.  Maybe not that day or that month... but they will get it.  They may save up their allowance; they may have some help from mom or dad to pay or they may get it for Christmas or their birthday.  I don't know why that seems so strange to some people, but to us it is just obvious.  We do have a lot of stuff.  I'm sure we have a lot of stuff that hasn't been used to its full potential.  Since we have the resources I believe in taking advantage of them to do and to learn what we choose rather than creating artificial lack.  When we no longer want/need something it is donated or freecycled so that someone less fortunate also gets what they want when possible.

I usually get depressed at this time of year.  Right about the time I am mostly done Christmas shopping, and the kids start remembering things they forgot to mention that they wanted for Christmas I start to feel like I don't want to buy anything, it's ridiculous to spend so much money, and what on earth am I supposed to get my husband for Christmas anyway!  Fortunately my husband is used to this by now, and he just takes over until I come back around. 

So far that hasn't happened this year though... everything I bought is something I've wanted to get them, or they have been wanting, and Christmas provides the perfect opportunity (excuse?) to do so.  Every Christmas, the Christmas money comes... either bonuses from work or extra side jobs appear so that we never have to go into debt to get what we want to get.  This year is no different.  I'm not stressing about money (any more so than usual anyway); I am not stressed about presents; I still have no clue what I'm getting my husband and am trying to talk him into not getting each other anything.  He's not likely to go for that though.

I haven't even decorated the house yet this year, really.  We bought a new artificial tree the day after Thanksgiving on sale.  Our gorgeous real tree from last year was our one and only venture into real Christmas trees, and I insisted on a bigger fake one if we had to go back to fake (real one was a pain in the neck, and Will has allergies anyway).  The tree came prelit, so we have a lit tree with no decorations (it's only been 2 weeks!)  The other day Will came home with some more little buildings and houses for my little Christmas village (which is now a big Christmas village) from grandpa, so I dug out the rest and put up the little village and toy train with Ben the other day.  That was fun!  I couldn't drag down the ornament boxes because they were up on a very high shelf in the garage and very heavy.  This weekend I decided we should just make all of our Christmas tree ornaments this year.  So we airpopped some popcorn (currently getting stale so we can string it), spray painted some pasta (currently drying) and got some ribbon.  We're going to make some bread dough ornaments, popcorn and pasta garlands, and tie on some ribbons, and call it beautiful!  We still need to find one special ornament that Ben reminded us we still need to put on the tree - our Grandma Kay In Memory ornament that reminds us that she is watching over us this Christmas from heaven as always.  I'll put up pictures of our Christmas tree experiment as we go.  The actual decorating is waiting for Will to come back from out of town.

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